Jack Barker
Jack Barker is the Prime Minister of great Britain who, when he wins the 1992 General Election, banishes the Royal Family to the Flowers Council Estate. Biography Jack Barker was born and raised in Northern England. He liked school not for the work or friendship circles, hut for the rules. Whenever his teacher, Mrs. Biggs, shouted at him, he felt safe. All his mother would ever do or say to him was give him money and send him to the corner shop for a pack of twenty Woodbines. Jack married his childhood sweetheart, Pat, and together they had a daughter, Sonia. According to Jack, his mother's last words had been 'Jack, get rid of the monarchy.' Some relatives have disputed this, saying that she actually said 'Jack, give Sid me front door key', but it was hard to tell what she said at all through the oxygen mask she had been wearing. Soon after regaining power, h and Pat divorced when their marriage hit a sticky patch. Jack then proceeded to marry Caroline, a blonde beauty half his age, who liked him for his personality and frequented the front pages of the scandal rags. Jack always felt self-conscious around her; another thing that worried him was that she and Pat got on alarmingly well together. Political Career When Jack claimed power as the first British Republican Prime Minister, the morning after the election he went to Buckingham Palace and gave the Royals forty-eight hours to pack their bags and move to the Flowers Estate. Afterwards, he took the family to the balcony and threw the State Imperial Crown out into the crowds who were chanting 'Jack, Jack, send 'em back!' Jack then abolished poll tax and brought bus fares down to 15p, regardless of where the passengers were travelling too. These changes made him more popular, but then his popularity polls dropped significantly. Enforcing the Exclusion Zones, including the F.E.Z. where the morbidly obese, young mothers, junkies, petty criminals and Royals lived. This won him and his Government a brief stint in popularity, but it declined again soon after. One incident a Sonia's wedding to a public relations executive sealed a new law. Jack had climbed out of the Royal Carriage to lead his daughter up the aisle, but when he touched the floor his right foot went straight into a pile of dog waste. Hoping that it wouldn't stain the caret as they walked, he continued to lead Sonia up the aisle. However, he saw several people - including the Archbishop of Canterbury - screw their noses up in disgust. He turned around to be greeted by the sight of dog waste trampled up the red carpet that had been laid out. As he sat in his seat, listening to Pat's sobs and the murmurs of disgust, he knew he had ruined his daughters wedding and a new law began to form in his mind. Not soon after the wedding, Jack managed to pass a law that meant only one dog was allowed per household - and you could have unlimited cats. This caused strife to the public, the opposition party and even some people in his own arty. The new law caused his Chancellor of the Exchequer, Stephen Fletcher, to resign; he chose his King Charles spaniel, Mitzie, over his political career. The opposition party, led by Boy English, wanted to bring the monarchy back, but one of the snags was Boy's attachment to a black Labrador puppy, Billy. Further strife was caused for Jack when he read his granddaughter, Annabel, a bedtime story about when the monarchy used to be in power. Annabel then demanded to be a princess; this made Jack question his abilities as a Prime Minister. Eventually, after twelve years in power, Jack was beaten by Boy English and was forced to stand down as Prime Minister, something which he seemed more than happy to do. See Also * B.O.M.B. * Stephen Fletcher * Barker family